Saturday Song Day 03/28/15

Today's Saturday Song Day choice:
Head Full of Doubt/Road Full of Promise by The Avett Brothers.
Love them, their music, their lyrics....

Link to youtube audio & video: Head Full of Doubt/Road Full of Promise
This song and the lyrics really speak to me and how I've been feeling lately.

Head Full of Doubt/Road Full of Promise 
by The Avett Brothers

In the fine print they tell me what's wrong and what's right

There's a darkness upon me that's flooded in light

And it comes in black and it comes in white

And I'm frightened by those that don't see it

When nothing is owed or deserved or expected

And your life doesn't change by the man that's elected

If you're loved by someone, you're never rejected

Decide what to be and go be it

There was a dream and one day I could see it

Like a bird in a cage I broke in and demanded that somebody free it

And there was a kid with a head full of doubt

So I'll scream til I die and the last of those bad thoughts are finally out

There's a darkness upon you that's flooded in light

And in the fine print they tell you what's wrong and what's right

And it flies by day and it flies by night

And I'm frightened by those that don't see it

There was a dream and one day I could see it

Like a bird in a cage I broke in and demanded that somebody free it

And there was a kid with a head full of doubt

So I'll scream til I die and the last of those bad thoughts are finally out

There was a dream and one day I could see it

Like a bird in a cage I broke in and demanded that somebody free it

And there was a kid with a head full of doubt

So I'll scream til I die and the last of those bad thoughts are finally out

There's a darkness upon me that's flooded in light

In the fine print they tell me what's wrong and what's right

There's a darkness upon me that's flooded in light

And I'm frightened by those that don't see it

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lyrics from Google Play: link to google play

Today will be better, I swear!

A song to start off the day: Today Will Be Better, I Swear! by Stars
(click on song title for link to audio on youtube)

Today will be better, I Swear. Easier said than done, right?

Right now my life is one string of cliches all jumbled together and jutting up against one another. I know that things WILL be better, eventually... but currently, while in the midst of trying to improve things and get back to "normalcy", I have discovered one simple fact:

Life is hard.
I already knew that.. but, recently I've discovered just how hard life can be.

When things are bad, I try my best to focus on the positive. I try my best to focus on the day ahead of me instead of the day behind me. I try, and I try, and I try. But sometimes I feel like trying isn't good enough. Sometimes I try and try and try... and I never seem to succeed. I just get bogged down in the nitty gritty, in the details that don't matter... I simply get bogged down by something. It is frustrating, oftentimes saddening, and extraordinarily difficult.

It is emotionally draining to trudge through life when it is difficult. And that is why, I believe, all of us need some sort of outlet or coping mechanism to utilize when our feelings are just too much to bear. We all need some sort of escape. I escape from everyday life through anything relaxing and through a number of artistic or creative endeavors (food, music, exercise, being outside, painting, etc..). I enjoy these things even if I believe that I'm not particularly good at them :)

And, in order to be happy and not just trudge through life everyday, my personality dictates some other basic needs that I have. If these needs aren't met, I feel lost, frustrated, and confined... I basically feel like I am not myself. To me, these needs are a big deal. They are important, and they actually include some of the coping mechanisms I just mentioned.

My Needs (i.e. How to Keep Louise Happy, a list in progress)

• I need space, breathing room, and independence.
• I need to have the ability to absorb and digest information.
• I need to eat properly, sleep a reasonable amount of time, and exercise regularly.

Recently, I have found it difficult to satisfy all of my basic needs. I love my baby with all my heart, but he altered the course of my life (as I knew he would). Some of the detours and route changes that he created were good, but, at times, I found myself headed in the wrong direction. Starting with the delivery of our precious little man and ending with a brief psychiatric hospitalization, there were numerous complications and obstacles that we had to overcome.... and life got hard. Really hard.

So, here I am.

Life is different now, and it will never be the same. I just have to remember to put myself first. I need to remember my needs. I can compromise on some of them, but, I know now that if I compromise on too many of my basic needs for too long, I (and everyone around me) will just end up unhappy, frustrated, angry, sad, etc...

So, it doesn't matter what transpired yesterday. I'm just going to focus on the present and the future. Exploring the past is something better left to psychologists or therapists and the like. Eventually, I'll need to take all of the skeletons out of my closet and relive the past. But, for now, I'm going to try my best to be optimistic and not get caught up in the ugly nitty gritty of daily life. I'm just going to remember that today will be better.

I swear.

Saturday Song Day

I'm going to start posting here more frequently (or at least trying to). The one thing I want to start right away is regularly posting music that I love or music that I'm loving in the moment.

So, starting with today, look forward to Saturday Song Day posts. YAY! 

It'll be a lot of fun for me to do these posts, and I hope you will get something out of it, too. Maybe you will discover a new song or artist that will help you in one of many numerous possible ways.

To me,
music is life,
and life is music.... 

Holes

by Passenger 

(Click on song title for link to audio & video on youtube)

I know a man with nothing in his hands, nothing but a rolling stone
He told me about when his house burnt down, he lost everything he owned
He lay asleep for six whole weeks, they were gonna ask his mother to choose
When he woke up with nothing, he said I’ll tell you something
When you’ve got nothing, you’ve got nothing to lose

"Now I’ve got a hole in my pocket, a hole in my shirt, a whole lot of trouble," he said
"But now the money is gone, life carries on, and I miss it like a hole in the head"

I know a woman with kids around her ankles and a baby on her lap
She said one day her husband went to get a paper and the mother fucker never came back
Mortgage to pay and four kids to raise, keeping the wolf from the door
She said the wolf’s just a puppy and the door’s double locked so why you gotta worry me for

Now he left a in hole in my heart a hole in a promise a hole on the side of my bed
Oh now that he's gone well life carries on and I miss him like a hole in the head

Well sometimes you can't change and you can't choose
And sometimes it seems you gain less than you lose

Now we've got holes in our hearts, yeah we've got holes in our lives
Where we've got holes, we've got holes but we carry on

Where we've got holes in our hearts, yeah we've got holes in our lives
Where we've got holes, we've got holes but we carry on

Said we've got holes in our hearts, yeah we've got holes in our lives
Where we've got holes, we've got holes but we carry on

Said we've got holes in our hearts, we've got holes in our lives
We've got holes, we've got holes but we carry on

Said we've got holes in our hearts, we've got holes in our lives
We've got holes, we've got holes but we carry on

Said we've got holes in our hearts, yeah we've got holes in our lives
Where we've got holes, we've got holes, but we carry on


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


I started today with lots of mixed emotions, both good and bad.
Ended the day happy and ready to get a good night's sleep.
So, things are good :)

Lyrics from "Holes" by Passenger copied & slightly modified from azlyrics.com

Original blog post published on 3/14, edited on 3/21

Living

Exhausted but happy.
Love my baby.
Love my husband.
Always.

Listening to:
- of Monsters & Men: All the songs, basically
- love the music, actually!

:) HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY :)

Gonna go hang out in the kitchen again.

Oh, baby is here!

February 26th, 2015. It's my son's birthday.

What? I have a son? WHAT?!!

Yup, and he's perfect.

Linden is my baby and my baby is a beauty :)

And now for a funny: I am a worthy human being! Darn you Mom!