Happy Me vs Sad Me

Happy me and sad me are battling again...

The dark fingers are creeping in on the canvas of white.

But, today?
Today - I fight.

I don't want to be that sad me.
I don't want to gradually dig myself into a hole and fade away into the darkness.
I don't want to spend the rest of my life yo-yoing between hiding underneath the covers and coming up for air. I don't want to sleep my life away.

I want to be happy. Is that too much to ask?

If I want to be happy, I'll be happy.

I'll fight the dark. I'll fight the sad. I'll fight those thoughts that dare to consume my being with a sullenness that I can't shake, with an emptiness that I don't even realize is there.

I'll seek the sun.
I'll seek the smiles.
I'll seek the joy.

I need it. I crave it. It is my fuel. It is my fire.
It is me.